“Do you remember? The 21st night of September?” We do vividly. Today is our anniversary! I swear it was just yesterday I was anxiously awaiting my cue to walk down the aisle to a friend playing, Marry Me by Train on his piano. We have been incredibly thankful to our friends and family for all of their support in making us strive to be better people for each other!
We decided for our anniversary we would go back to Palm Springs where we had our mini moon after the wedding. This is a tradition we will continue on! Another tradition we created was re-reading our vows to one another. I cried all over again! Check out our photos from our anniversary trip on IG #TeamMilanTurns1 🙂
Things we learned in our first year:
- Don’t try to assemble furniture together. For some reason, this really gets couples stressed. I’m not the only one, I’ve heard it from other couples too! My husband ended up putting a dent in our brand new bedroom ceilings because he didn’t believe me when I said, “You can’t just flip a canopy style bed to standing if you start it on its side…” Luckily the rest of our furniture came assembled.
- It’s okay to fight. It doesn’t mean your marriage is doomed. As long as you fight fair, forgive, and you make up sooner rather than later (before bed most say but sometimes that doesn’t work out and morning might be better). And as long as there is a solution to whatever the issue is at hand. Fighting was different though as a married couple. I think because there’s a pressure to make up even before the fight is over and you can’t just walk out on a fight. You have to stay and face it.
- Don’t be afraid of therapy as maintenance. This was advice from not only Beyonce and JayZ but a random woman that I met at the grocery store. She has been happily married for 19 years but with these three pieces of advice: therapy is okay, don’t talk about finances in bed, and date night is important. I’m sure many married couples have also shared this advice before! My husband and I didn’t end up meeting with a therapist during our first year but we were completely open to the idea that sometimes we may need a non judgmental third party to talk to if we’re not feeling like we’re communicating at our best to one another.
- You can’t plan everything. Sh*t will be thrown in your direction, that’s just life except now as a married couple, you have to figure it out together and stay on the same team.
- Understanding is different than finding a solution. Figure out the difference! When women want you to understand, they’re asking you to just be empathetic and feel their pain or find patience with their situation. They’re not looking for you to give them answers unless they say, “Can you give me a solution to this problem I’m working on?” My husband had to learn this over and over because he was under the impression he could solve the way I was feeling. If understanding doesn’t happen, frustrations will build on both sides.
Celebrations in our first year:
- Moving and making a new life in San Francisco
- Buying our first home
- Traveling to Palm Springs, Hong Kong, Singapore, Phuket, Amsterdam, Kauai, Serengeti, Swahili Coast, Vermont, North Coast, Austin, Malibu, Hampton’s.
- Delayed honeymoon
- Having our first washing machine and dryer!
- Parking on a steep slope (me!)
- My husband learning how to barbecue
Goals for the next year:
- Start a family
- Saving more. Shopping less for me (I’m still not convinced this is the best saving solution, is there something else we can give up LOL?)
- Even as life gets crazy, always practicing kindness, consideration, sweetness, and love. Date nights are a must!
- Launch one company between us, at least
- Figure out my own life / work balance, especially as a mom
- Celebrate a 2nd anniversary
PS: Our wedding that was featured in Green Wedding Shoes in April